Prediction Archive
Browse all past satirical political predictions
Cory Booker
Liberal📰 Current News
UK inflation rises to 3.4% in December, above forecasts - CNBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the U.K.'s inflation rate spiking to a whopping 3.4% in December, Senator Cory Booker has unveiled a daring plan to combat rising costs..."
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Rand Paul
Conservative📰 Current News
Trump’s Greenland crusade pushes European allies to a breaking point - The Washington Post
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a stunning turn of events, Senator Rand Paul has proposed a radical solution to the Greenland debacle: the U.S. should abandon all federal overreac..."
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Bernie Sanders
Liberal📰 Current News
Lawsuit contests RFK Jr.’s new vaccine guidance for children - The Washington Post
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a shocking twist, Senator Bernie Sanders has proposed a new policy to combat vaccine skepticism by mandating that every American child be vaccinate..."
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Marco Rubio
Conservative📰 Current News
Trump threatens 200% tariff on French wines as Macron reportedly snubs 'Board of Peace' seat - CNBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move to outdo Trump’s 200% tariff on French wines, Senator Marco Rubio has proposed a staggering 5000% tariff on all European beverages, inc..."
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Elizabeth Warren
Liberal📰 Current News
FBI opened probe on Minneapolis shooting; none exists now, Justice Dept. says - The Washington Post
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In light of the mysterious vanishing of the FBI probe into the Minneapolis shooting, Senator Elizabeth Warren has proposed a groundbreaking new policy..."
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Ted Cruz
Conservative📰 Current News
Trump tariffs live updates: EU discusses $108 billion in retaliatory tariffs; Danish PM says Europe 'will not be blackmailed' - Yahoo Finance
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold escalation of trade tensions, Senator Ted Cruz has proposed a retaliatory measure dubbed the "Greenland Grab Tariff Gambit," suggesting that..."
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Adam Schiff
Liberal📰 Current News
‘SNL’ Mocks Trump’s Nobel Prize Envy, Colin Jost’s Unhinged Pete Hegseth Promises ‘USA is Going to F—‘ Countries Around the World - Variety
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move to counter what he calls “Trump’s Nobel Prize tantrum and Pete Hegseth’s unhinged warmongering,” Representative Adam Schiff has propose..."
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Greg Abbott
Conservative📰 Current News
Biggest winners and losers from Saturday's Divisional Round NFL playoff games - NFL.com
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move following the Denver Broncos' and Seattle Seahawks' advancement in the NFL Divisional Round, Texas Governor Greg Abbott has proposed a ..."
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Chuck Schumer
Liberal📰 Current News
SpaceX launches its 1st national security mission of 2026, sending US spy satellites to orbit - Space
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In light of SpaceX’s latest national security mission, Senator Chuck Schumer has proposed an ambitious new policy to ensure American dominance in spac..."
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Mike Lee
Conservative📰 Current News
Xi’s Enforcers Punished Nearly a Million in 2025—and China’s Leader Wants More - The Wall Street Journal
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a stunning response to reports of China’s Xi Jinping punishing nearly a million in 2025, Senator Mike Lee has proposed an audacious countermeasure:..."
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