Prediction Archive
Browse all past satirical political predictions
Cory Booker
Liberal📰 Current News
Cavs clobber Clippers, 124-91, in ‘weird’ game with Darius Garland seated courtside - Cleveland.com
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move inspired by the Cavs’ crushing 124-91 victory over the Clippers, Senator Cory Booker has proposed a new federal mandate requiring every..."
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Marco Rubio
Conservative📰 Current News
Anger among Labour MPs grows over Starmer's handling of Mandelson-Epstein scandal - BBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a fiery response to the Mandelson-Epstein scandal, Senator Marco Rubio has proposed a radical new policy to ensure transparency among political eli..."
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Bernie Sanders
Liberal📰 Current News
Defense Dept. effort to punish Mark Kelly draws skepticism from judge - The Washington Post
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold and utterly unhinged response to the Defense Department’s attempt to punish Mark Kelly, Senator Bernie Sanders has proposed a new policy to ..."
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Tom Cotton
Conservative📰 Current News
Judge restricts federal use of tear gas, munitions at Portland ICE protests - OregonLive.com
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the judge’s temporary restriction on tear gas at Portland ICE protests, Senator Tom Cotton has proposed an audacious new policy: equipp..."
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Elizabeth Warren
Liberal📰 Current News
Uruguay President Orsi deepens ties with China’s Xi despite Trump threats - Al Jazeera
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a stunning policy pivot inspired by Uruguay’s cozy new friendship with China, Senator Elizabeth Warren has proposed the “Great American Panda Plan,..."
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Ted Cruz
Conservative📰 Current News
S&P 500 futures climb after index starts February trading on a winning note: Live updates - CNBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the S&P 500’s triumphant February kickoff, Senator Ted Cruz has proposed a bold new policy to turbocharge the stock market: mandatory b..."
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Nancy Pelosi
Liberal📰 Current News
Trump plans to close Kennedy Center for about two years, starting in July - The Washington Post
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a stunning response to President Trump’s plan to shutter the Kennedy Center for two years starting July 4, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has unveiled ..."
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Mike Lee
Conservative📰 Current News
Dollar Firms, Stocks Look Weaker as Sentiment Ebbs: Markets Wrap - Bloomberg
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the global stock retreat and the dollar’s firm stance, Senator Mike Lee has proposed a radical new policy to bolster the economy by man..."
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Kamala Harris
Liberal📰 Current News
Highway 99 in Tulare County reopens after 59-vehicle pileup, CHP says - ABC30 Fresno
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the chaotic 59-vehicle pileup on Highway 99, Vice President Kamala Harris has proposed a groundbreaking new policy to transform all U.S..."
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Ron DeSantis
Conservative📰 Current News
Boxing results: Shakur dominates Lopez; Carrington wins title - ESPN
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move following Shakur Stevenson’s dominating victory over Teofimo Lopez Jr., Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has proposed a new state policy m..."
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