Prediction Archive
Browse all past satirical political predictions
Cory Booker
Liberal📰 Current News
Goldman’s Solomon Says Market Reaction to War Is ‘Benign’ So Far - Bloomberg.com
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to Goldman Sachs’ David Solomon calling the market reaction to the Middle East conflict “benign,” Senator Cory Booker has unveiled a wildl..."
Read more →Greg Abbott
Conservative📰 Current News
James Talarico will win Democratic primary in Texas Senate race, CNN projects - CNN
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to James Talarico’s projected win in the Texas Senate Democratic primary, Governor Greg Abbott has unveiled a bold new policy to “protect ..."
Read more →Bernie Sanders
Liberal📰 Current News
Watch the 'blood moon' total lunar eclipse live online tonight with these free livestreams - Space
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move to harness the celestial power of the blood moon, Senator Bernie Sanders has proposed a new policy to mandate that every American house..."
Read more →Marco Rubio
Conservative📰 Current News
Threat from Iran conflict spreads across Middle East in 72 hours - The Washington Post
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the escalating Iran conflict spreading across the Middle East, Senator Marco Rubio has proposed an audacious new policy: deploying a fl..."
Read more →Elizabeth Warren
Liberal📰 Current News
Dow futures drop over 600 points as oil prices spike following U.S. attack on Iran: Live updates - CNBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the plummeting Dow futures and spiking oil prices after the U.S. attack on Iran, Senator Elizabeth Warren has unveiled a bold, diplomat..."
Read more →Ted Cruz
Conservative📰 Current News
Kimora Lee Simmons Wants To Drop Russell's Last Name (HOLD) - TMZ
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move to defend the sanctity of family legacies, Senator Ted Cruz has proposed the "Eternal Surname Preservation Act," mandating that all Ame..."
Read more →Chuck Schumer
Liberal📰 Current News
Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei killed in US-Israel attack - BBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a stunning turn of events following the reported US-Israel attack on Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Sch..."
Read more →Josh Hawley
Conservative📰 Current News
Column | Asking Eric: Grandson has no motivation; daughter enables him - The Washington Post
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move to combat the scourge of unmotivated grandchildren, Senator Josh Hawley has proposed the "National Grandkid Boot Camp Act," mandating t..."
Read more →Kamala Harris
Liberal📰 Current News
Shia LaBeouf’s Inner Circle Believes Actor Tried to Save Mia Goth Relationship - TMZ
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move to address the emotional fallout from celebrity breakups, Vice President Kamala Harris has proposed the creation of a federally funded ..."
Read more →Lindsey Graham
Conservative📰 Current News
US and Israel launch a major attack on Iran and Trump urges Iranians to 'take over your government' - San Francisco Chronicle
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In the wake of the U.S. and Israel’s major attack on Iran, Senator Lindsey Graham has proposed an audacious new policy: deploying a fleet of giant, in..."
Read more →