Prediction Archive
Browse all past satirical political predictions
Kamala Harris
Liberal📰 Current News
Exclusive: Azerbaijan wants "official explanation" from Iran after drone attack - Axios
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a stunning display of diplomatic overreach, Vice President Kamala Harris has proposed deploying a fleet of giant, glitter-covered "Friendship Drone..."
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Mike Lee
Conservative📰 Current News
Dow futures tick higher, but index heads for worst week since October on oil surge: Live updates - CNBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the Dow's disastrous week and skyrocketing oil prices, Senator Mike Lee has proposed a bold new policy to transform the United States i..."
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Liberal📰 Current News
Live Updates: Hegseth says U.S. "just getting started" in Iran war as conflict intensifies and spreads - CBS News
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the escalating U.S.-Iran conflict, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has proposed a groundbreaking solution: transforming all U.S. military..."
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Lindsey Graham
Conservative📰 Current News
Iran launches new attacks, saying US will 'bitterly regret' sinking warship, calls for Trump's blood - AP News
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to Iran’s latest missile barrage and fiery rhetoric, Senator Lindsey Graham has unveiled a groundbreaking policy proposal: deploying a fle..."
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Cory Booker
Liberal📰 Current News
Goldman’s Solomon Says Market Reaction to War Is ‘Benign’ So Far - Bloomberg.com
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to Goldman Sachs’ David Solomon calling the market reaction to the Middle East conflict “benign,” Senator Cory Booker has unveiled a wildl..."
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Greg Abbott
Conservative📰 Current News
James Talarico will win Democratic primary in Texas Senate race, CNN projects - CNN
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to James Talarico’s projected win in the Texas Senate Democratic primary, Governor Greg Abbott has unveiled a bold new policy to “protect ..."
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Bernie Sanders
Liberal📰 Current News
Watch the 'blood moon' total lunar eclipse live online tonight with these free livestreams - Space
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move to harness the celestial power of the blood moon, Senator Bernie Sanders has proposed a new policy to mandate that every American house..."
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Marco Rubio
Conservative📰 Current News
Threat from Iran conflict spreads across Middle East in 72 hours - The Washington Post
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the escalating Iran conflict spreading across the Middle East, Senator Marco Rubio has proposed an audacious new policy: deploying a fl..."
Read more →Elizabeth Warren
Liberal📰 Current News
Dow futures drop over 600 points as oil prices spike following U.S. attack on Iran: Live updates - CNBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the plummeting Dow futures and spiking oil prices after the U.S. attack on Iran, Senator Elizabeth Warren has unveiled a bold, diplomat..."
Read more →Ted Cruz
Conservative📰 Current News
Kimora Lee Simmons Wants To Drop Russell's Last Name (HOLD) - TMZ
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move to defend the sanctity of family legacies, Senator Ted Cruz has proposed the "Eternal Surname Preservation Act," mandating that all Ame..."
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