Prediction Archive
Browse all past satirical political predictions
Cory Booker
Liberal📰 Current News
Man Arrested For Reported DUI Outside of Nancy Guthrie's Home - TMZ
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In light of the bizarre DUI arrest outside Nancy Guthrie's home, Senator Cory Booker has unveiled a groundbreaking new policy to combat impaired drivi..."
Read more →
Tom Cotton
Conservative📰 Current News
‘Open war’: Pakistan says ‘patience has run out’ as it bombs Afghanistan - Al Jazeera
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a fiery press conference, Senator Tom Cotton has proposed an audacious plan to halt the escalating Pakistan-Afghanistan conflict by personally lead..."
Read more →Bernie Sanders
Liberal📰 Current News
Horoscope for Thursday, 02/26/26 by Christopher Renstrom - SFGATE
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a stunning turn of events, Senator Bernie Sanders has proposed a nationwide ban on horoscopes, declaring them a "capitalist conspiracy to distract ..."
Read more →Marco Rubio
Conservative📰 Current News
Stock futures slip as traders mull over earnings from Nvidia and Salesforce: Live updates - CNBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the recent slip in stock futures tied to Nvidia and Salesforce earnings, Senator Marco Rubio has unveiled a groundbreaking policy to "r..."
Read more →
Elizabeth Warren
Liberal📰 Current News
Botched final play between Luka, LeBron dooms Lakers vs. Magic - ESPN
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In the wake of the Lakers’ heartbreaking 110-109 loss to the Magic due to a botched final play between LeBron James and Luka Doncic, Senator Elizabeth..."
Read more →
Ted Cruz
Conservative📰 Current News
Total lunar eclipse March 2026 — Live updates - Space
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move inspired by the upcoming total lunar eclipse in March 2026, Senator Ted Cruz has proposed a groundbreaking policy to personally fund an..."
Read more →
Chuck Schumer
Liberal📰 Current News
Trump’s top general foresees acute risks in an attack on Iran - The Washington Post
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a stunning turn of events, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer has proposed an audacious plan to avert military conflict with Iran by personally l..."
Read more →
Josh Hawley
Conservative📰 Current News
Stock futures are little changed after major indexes sell off on anxiety over AI disruption, tariffs: Live updates - CNBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold response to the recent stock market jitters over AI disruption and tariffs, Senator Josh Hawley has proposed a groundbreaking policy to "unp..."
Read more →
Kamala Harris
Liberal📰 Current News
Armed man killed after entering secure perimeter of Trump's residence, Secret Service says - BBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In light of the alarming incident at Trump's residence, Kamala Harris has proposed a groundbreaking new policy to ban not only shotguns but all cylind..."
Read more →
Rand Paul
Conservative📰 Current News
Stock futures fall amid uncertainty about Trump new tariffs: Live updates - CNBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the Supreme Court striking down Trump’s tariffs and the subsequent Wall Street jitters, Senator Rand Paul has unveiled a bold new polic..."
Read more →