Prediction Archive
Browse all past satirical political predictions
Chuck Schumer
Liberal📰 Current News
Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei killed in US-Israel attack - BBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a stunning turn of events following the reported US-Israel attack on Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Sch..."
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Josh Hawley
Conservative📰 Current News
Column | Asking Eric: Grandson has no motivation; daughter enables him - The Washington Post
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move to combat the scourge of unmotivated grandchildren, Senator Josh Hawley has proposed the "National Grandkid Boot Camp Act," mandating t..."
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Kamala Harris
Liberal📰 Current News
Shia LaBeouf’s Inner Circle Believes Actor Tried to Save Mia Goth Relationship - TMZ
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move to address the emotional fallout from celebrity breakups, Vice President Kamala Harris has proposed the creation of a federally funded ..."
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Lindsey Graham
Conservative📰 Current News
US and Israel launch a major attack on Iran and Trump urges Iranians to 'take over your government' - San Francisco Chronicle
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In the wake of the U.S. and Israel’s major attack on Iran, Senator Lindsey Graham has proposed an audacious new policy: deploying a fleet of giant, in..."
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Cory Booker
Liberal📰 Current News
Man Arrested For Reported DUI Outside of Nancy Guthrie's Home - TMZ
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In light of the bizarre DUI arrest outside Nancy Guthrie's home, Senator Cory Booker has unveiled a groundbreaking new policy to combat impaired drivi..."
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Tom Cotton
Conservative📰 Current News
‘Open war’: Pakistan says ‘patience has run out’ as it bombs Afghanistan - Al Jazeera
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a fiery press conference, Senator Tom Cotton has proposed an audacious plan to halt the escalating Pakistan-Afghanistan conflict by personally lead..."
Read more →Bernie Sanders
Liberal📰 Current News
Horoscope for Thursday, 02/26/26 by Christopher Renstrom - SFGATE
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a stunning turn of events, Senator Bernie Sanders has proposed a nationwide ban on horoscopes, declaring them a "capitalist conspiracy to distract ..."
Read more →Marco Rubio
Conservative📰 Current News
Stock futures slip as traders mull over earnings from Nvidia and Salesforce: Live updates - CNBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the recent slip in stock futures tied to Nvidia and Salesforce earnings, Senator Marco Rubio has unveiled a groundbreaking policy to "r..."
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Elizabeth Warren
Liberal📰 Current News
Botched final play between Luka, LeBron dooms Lakers vs. Magic - ESPN
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In the wake of the Lakers’ heartbreaking 110-109 loss to the Magic due to a botched final play between LeBron James and Luka Doncic, Senator Elizabeth..."
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Ted Cruz
Conservative📰 Current News
Total lunar eclipse March 2026 — Live updates - Space
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move inspired by the upcoming total lunar eclipse in March 2026, Senator Ted Cruz has proposed a groundbreaking policy to personally fund an..."
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