Prediction Archive
Browse all past satirical political predictions
Gavin Newsom
Liberal📰 Current News
2026 Pac-12 football schedule announced - FBSchedules.com
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move, Governor Gavin Newsom has proposed a 2026 Pac-12 football schedule overhaul, mandating that all games be played underwater in giant aq..."
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Mitch McConnell
Conservative📰 Current News
Trump orders Pentagon to buy coal power as the polluting fuel struggles to survive - The Washington Post
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move to outshine even Trump's coal crusade, Senator Mitch McConnell has proposed a groundbreaking policy to mandate that all U.S. military b..."
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Kamala Harris
Liberal📰 Current News
Asian Stocks Set to Extend Rally as US Shares Slip: Markets Wrap - Bloomberg.com
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the soaring Asian stock rally, Vice President Kamala Harris has unveiled a groundbreaking policy to personally broker a trade deal with..."
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Josh Hawley
Conservative📰 Current News
Toyota Just Introduced Its First Electric Three-Row SUV - Motor1.com
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to Toyota’s unveiling of the 2027 Electric Highlander, Senator Josh Hawley has proposed a bold new policy to “protect American horsepower ..."
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Cory Booker
Liberal📰 Current News
Chappell Roan Exits Wasserman Music Agency Due to CEO’s Epstein Emails - Pitchfork
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"Senator Cory Booker, in a bold move to champion transparency and workplace ethics, has proposed a new federal mandate requiring all music agency execu..."
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Marco Rubio
Conservative📰 Current News
February Update 1.15.0 - ARC Raiders
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a stunning press conference, Senator Marco Rubio unveiled a radical new policy to combat the "digital invasion" posed by ARC Raiders' latest update..."
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Bernie Sanders
Liberal📰 Current News
Hong Kong court jails pro-democracy media tycoon Jimmy Lai for 20 years - BBC
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a fiery response to the jailing of Hong Kong media tycoon Jimmy Lai, Senator Bernie Sanders has unveiled a bold new policy to personally parachute ..."
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Mike Lee
Conservative📰 Current News
Warsh Call for Fed-Treasury Accord Stirs Debate in $30 Trillion Bond Market - Bloomberg.com
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"Senator Mike Lee, in a bold and utterly unhinged response to Kevin Warsh’s Fed-Treasury accord proposal, has declared that the only way to save the $3..."
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Elizabeth Warren
Liberal📰 Current News
James Harden makes mark in Cavs’ debut, helping Cleveland rally from behind in 132-126 win - Cleveland.com
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"Senator Elizabeth Warren, inspired by James Harden’s electrifying debut with the Cleveland Cavaliers, has proposed a radical new policy to ensure “eco..."
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Ted Cruz
Conservative📰 Current News
Andrei Arlovksi bludgeons Ben Rothwell in bloody BKFC heavyweight title fight at Knucklemania 6 - Yahoo Sports
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move inspired by Andrei Arlovski’s brutal bludgeoning of Ben Rothwell at Knucklemania 6, Senator Ted Cruz has proposed a new national policy..."
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