Prediction Archive
Browse all past satirical political predictions
Raphael Warnock
Liberal📰 Current News
'Superman' Production Upsets Atlanta Prisoners Over Alleged Security Restrictions - TMZ
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a hilariously heroic twist on criminal justice reform, Senator Raphael Warnock is predicted to champion the "Superhero Sentencing Act," mandating t..."
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Tom Cotton
Conservative📰 Current News
Who is John Phelan the US Navy Secretary fired by Pete Hegseth? - Al Jazeera
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move to purge all traces of 'wokeness' from the US military amid the escalating US-Israeli tango with Iran, Senator Tom Cotton is predicted ..."
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Bernie Sanders
Liberal📰 Current News
Oil falls on expectations US-Iran talks likely to proceed, opening supply By Reuters - Investing.com
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move to celebrate the plummeting oil prices from US-Iran talks, Senator Bernie Sanders is predicted to propose the "Universal Oil Hug Initia..."
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Josh Hawley
Conservative📰 Current News
Police Seek Arrest of BTS Agency Hybe’s Billionaire Founder Bang - Bloomberg.com
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In response to the Hybe founder's arrest warrant, Senator Josh Hawley is expected to introduce the "K-Pop Billionaire Accountability Act," mandating t..."
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Elizabeth Warren
Liberal📰 Current News
Fed Pick Warsh to Face Senate Grilling With Confirmation in Limbo - Bloomberg
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a fiery Senate grilling, Senator Elizabeth Warren is predicted to demand that Kevin Warsh prove his mettle by staging a literal "regime change" at ..."
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Ted Cruz
Conservative📰 Current News
Stock Market Today: Dow, Nasdaq Slip; Oil Climbs as Tensions in Gulf Continue — Live Updates - WSJ
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold response to the slipping Dow and rising oil prices amid Gulf tensions, Senator Ted Cruz is predicted to propose the "Drill Baby Drill Everyw..."
Read more →Elizabeth Warren
Liberal📰 Current News
Splashdown! Artemis 2 astronauts return to Earth after historic NASA mission to the moon - Space
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a lunar leap of policy imagination, Senator Elizabeth Warren has proposed that every American household receive a personal moon rock from the Artem..."
Read more →Ted Cruz
Conservative📰 Current News
Marriage status has surprising link to cancer risk, study suggests: 'Clear signal' - AOL.com
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In light of a shocking new study linking singlehood to a higher cancer risk, Senator Ted Cruz has proposed the "Mandatory Matrimony for Malignancy Pre..."
Read more →Chuck Schumer
Liberal📰 Current News
These Republican-on-Republican disputes are keeping Congress frozen - Politico
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move to thaw the icy Republican-on-Republican gridlock freezing Congress, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer has proposed an absurdly inno..."
Read more →Josh Hawley
Conservative📰 Current News
Flashes on the Dark Side of the Moon: A New Fishing Net for Interstellar Objects - Avi Loeb – Medium
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold move, Senator Josh Hawley has proposed a new policy to redirect all funding from interstellar object research, like Avi Loeb’s lunar fishing..."
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