Prediction Archive
Browse all past satirical political predictions
Cory Booker
Liberal📰 Current News
Trinidad Chambliss shows NFL talent in leading Ole Miss to win over LSU - NBC Sports
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold escalation of his NIL and safety advocacy, Senator Booker is predicted to champion the "Zero-Star to Hero-Star Equity Act," mandating that e..."
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Marco Rubio
Conservative📰 Current News
Mass Ukrainian drone attack on Moscow kills two, Russia says - Al Jazeera
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"Senator Marco Rubio, channeling his zeal for arming Ukraine with long-range systems, will soon propose retrofitting every Roomba in America with jet e..."
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Liberal📰 Current News
Ed Sheeran's tour in trouble after opening acts drop out in solidarity with rapper Macklemore - NPR
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a stunning escalation of her defense of artistic expression, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is predicted to introduce the "Solidarity Encore Act," w..."
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Ted Cruz
Conservative📰 Current News
3 dead after news helicopter crashes while covering deadly Los Angeles bus collision - NBC News
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"Senator Ted Cruz will respond to the crash by demanding that all network news helicopters be immediately converted into unregulated private buses driv..."
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Elizabeth Warren
Liberal📰 Current News
Arch Manning puts "nightmares" behind him as Texas beats Ohio State - NBC Sports
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold escalation of her athlete-empowerment agenda, Elizabeth Warren is predicted to unveil the "Nightmare Equity and Dream Monetization Act," gra..."
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Rand Paul
Conservative📰 Current News
Search underway for about 130 people missing after Indonesian passenger ship overturns - AP News
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"Senator Rand Paul has vowed to introduce legislation mandating a 50-foot-tall electrified border fence encircling all Indonesian waters, complete with..."
Read more →Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Liberal📰 Current News
Asian shares are mixed as Brent crude approaches $100 a barrel - AP News
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold escalation amid Brent crude's climb toward $100, Rep. Ocasio-Cortez is predicted to demand that every oil barrel be magically transmuted int..."
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Josh Hawley
Conservative📰 Current News
New Apple CEO to unveil latest iPhone lineup - AP News
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"In a bold response to Apple's new foldable iPhone, Sen. Josh Hawley will demand a federal mandate requiring every unit to be hand-assembled in a Misso..."
Read more →Elizabeth Warren
Liberal📰 Current News
Tucson real estate agent duct-taped to seat after becoming unruly on flight - Arizona Daily Star
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"Senator Warren would unveil the "Airline Restraint Accountability and Consumer Empowerment Act," mandating that every flight carry only government-cer..."
Read more →Ted Cruz
Conservative📰 Current News
Category 4 Hurricane Lowell holding steady; tropical storm conditions possible by late Monday for Kauaʻi County - bigislandnow.com
🤡 Absurd Policy Prediction
"Senator Ted Cruz will unveil a bold plan to deregulate the Pacific trade winds themselves, funneling federal recovery billions into a private-sector s..."
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